~Ashen-Phoenix

I've decided to award another kiriban giveaway for my 7,000 pageviews.

Soooo... here's the rules' rundown. Read 'em here, as I'll not be repeatin' 'em after this.

WTH's a "kiriban"?
Basically it's an excuse for me to practice drawin' somethin' requested by someone else. It's a celebration, of sorts. In this case, of my pageviews topping the 7k marker.

How to get it:
When you come visit my page, check the page count just above my journal's header, and if the number says, "7,000" take a screen shot with the "print screen/sysRq" button on your keyboard; save it in, say, MS Paint, and then Note me with the picture as proof, with the subject "kiriban winner." (note: if, by some chance, there turns out to be more than one person who claims the kiriban, I'll make one sketch for each of 'em IF i have time, otherwise I'll hafta flip a coin)

What you get
Any OC you've got can be requested as your prize, be they a fandom OC from an existing franchise, (ex. OC from Naruto or Bleach), or a purely OC from your own series/manga/video game/etc.

A preferred pose can be suggested but ultimately if i've time constraints it'll end up as it ends up. But I promise i'll make it as best i can and give it my full force! *punches air* YOSH~!!

And remember: I'm a sucker for details, so don't be afraid to pile 'em on! Juuuuuust also keep in mind that more detail = longer wait, mm'kay?

Life:
Already feelin' worlds better about the finale of Avatar, thanks to such irreplaceable friends and family as I'm so fortunately blessed with.

Got a new mousepad today; tis all shiny and clean and bluuuuuue (so it goes with everythang) and best of all is its built-in gel pad for the wrist! wheeee!! At last mah wrist won't be in danger of fallin' off!

I've had a brighter and more optimistic day today and most of yesterday than I've experienced in a very long time. And I couldn't be more proud of that; of myself for taking the risk and making that first step towards self-betterment.

In just a few scant days I'll be shovin' off with my ma on our trip to scout a promising college for me and, even better, a whole new "home town" for our family! A little while ago I was feeling more nervous and anxious than happy, but now all I can think is, "I can't wait! It's gonna be so much fun!!" I gotta tell ya, this new outlook is really reshaping my outlook on life, and I'm taking notice of things now that I hadn't before. So please, WISH US LUCK~!!!

Art:
Thanks to the few but still highly valued replies I got for my first outreach of info on future WS char. sheet attempts, I am indeed gonna set my sights on Izaiah, one of my personal favorites even amongst my own cast. Her character is something I find especially hard to categorize or even describe at times, so I'm sure it'll be an interesting challenge to capture at least a portion of her quirks in the chibifying to come. Again, well wishes are much loved and really make me wanna try even harder!

On another front, I'm just now attempting to get my feet wet (well, again, I suppose) with drawing dragons, since it's been a good coupla years since my last attempts. This time 'round I feel a lot more confident and as such I'll be researchin' my virtual butt off in efforts to achieve my desired style so I can properly portray the dragons that play a major part in WS. What's more... I just love dragons, so I've always known I'd love to draw 'em more often.

One last note on WS and the dragon front: I've already found a few wonderful designs here on Devart that have gotten my brain cogs 'a firin', as seen here, and I'm working thru a style/appearance concept even as I type this, specifically for the main dragon form of my wittle heroine, Kaieira. It goes somethin' like this, from the feather-like mane in the picture by *WildSpiritWolf and the small pointed spines in the latter image by !Dokuro an image squirmed into my head of somehow combining the two. "A set of 'spines' that make up the dragon's mane from the back of its head, just after its horns, down to its tail. These spines are razor sharp but are angled in one direction --with a small dip in the back/spine where the spines are especially small-- so that theoretically one could ride them without fear of harm from them. The spines are also tremendously flexible, making it possible for someone to touch them, if only in the direction of which they grow, without getting hurt. The spines will 'bend' to such light pressure, much in the way a porcupine's needles do, but if force is applied against the direction the spines grow, they become true to form and won't budge."

....Any thoughts? Tips? Constructive criticisms?

Oh, and just a quick notice: No, I haven't forgotten that o was tagged by ~uzushio-sensei for a meme! *actually did forget but just now remembered* So, uhhh.... I'll get on that as soon as we get back, 'kay? P-Promise. And it'll be chock fulla awesome! And stuff! Sure!!!

Writing:
Thanks to the immense encouragement from ~tachyon42 I've decided to focus on writing a short story that stems from a nightmare I had this past week. In layman's terms it centers around an ancient life-and-death "game" between a human family and a clan of insane vampire-like creatures.

Not to say that WS won't probably still push its way to the forefront of my creative mind at one point or another, but I'll mainly be focusing on this one for now. I was playing with the notion of calling it, "Blood Rose" after a key element to the plot. If anyone wants to know more, as always: Feedback, feedback, FEEDBACK.

Other:
Heard from ZEFID creator, *AVidZktjo via her most recent poll that there might still be the possibility of an Alternate Ending to the Avatar finale. I won't lie, when I read just the implication from her, my chest tingled with excitement, and while I know the chance is 50-50m at best, I'll absolutely be in full-out affirmation mode for this one. Canon Zutarian for life, baby. I'm so putting that on a shirt, along with some kick-ass imagery.

And so, ciao fer now, lovelies!

The series finale of Avatar: The Last Airbender was a phenomenal display of stellar action, drama and build-up. It flooded my heart with joy, anxiety, joy and true relief as each scene carefully unfolded. But as this fantastic show neared its final curtain call, there occurred a horrendous and shamefully poor climax to the longstanding Zutara following.

It was utterly and cruelly crushed with nothing but vanity and shallowness.

A deep-seeded sorrow in what could--indeed what should have been-- a celebration of tremendous joy. A happily tearful farewell to an amazing series, but instead... my feelings are only muddied in heartbreak and an inexplicable feeling of loss. (whether those who read this journal choose to disregard the following as simply overreacting or the like, I don't mind. I simply feel I need to get this all out, and this is the only way in which I feel I can right now)

I've found at least a bit of comfort in the posts of fellow Zutarians. Particularly from Ms Kat and the commenters on her brief "journal after the Finale" of the well-known ZEFID video series.

It's my opinion that this finale not only cruelly spat in the faces of all Zutarians, but also Kataangers, as it was handled so poorly and came off with such a "tacked-on-at-the-tail-end-as-an-afterthought" way, that I honestly feel sick.

Only a little while ago my stomach felt like it would turn over in pain and, yes, even an overwhelming sense of betrayal bombarded me at the out-of-nowhere reappearance of Maiko and nigh-disrespectful return of Kataang. I never hated either prospect, truly I didn't. But I just... *stammers* *sniff* ...words fail me at this time to properly convey my utmost pain and heartbreak at such an unbelievable failure in regards to the character shippings of one of my favorite animated series in years.

I cried and hugged myself in the bathroom after watching the taped finale with my brother, with whom I haven't shared my fandom. I still feel like throwing up, I wish I had someone to talk with who can empathize. I know if I wake up my mom now she'll only be worried, even though she understands how deeply attached I get to these series. (for those who read this who know me irl, please, don't worry. I'm a strong person, even stronger than I myself believe at times... so even if I don't talk to others about this, I'll find a way. I'll move on and feel better. And in no way will my fandom falter, even now I believe that)

This line of thought is still dully running through my head, "Did Bryan and Mike really despise or disrespect their Zutarian fans to such an extent that they would employ SO MUCH symbolism, ultimately misleading foreshadowing, character development, and ambiguous interpretations, and yet at the final moments sadistically rip the rug out from under their fans' feet and throw together some half-assed ending of what would have surely been a truly epic, memorable and RIGHTFUL conclusion to the pairing?"

Above anything else, I feel so completely betrayed as both a fan and as a person. I feel more pain over such a shoddy climax of shippings than anger towards the creators. I just... feel lost. This finale was building up to be every conceivable thing I'd wished and hoped for, and it still brought indescribable joy to me, but then... I don't think it's right that right now I can't appreciate and smile about the near countless good events of the finale, and THAT is what rekindles my bitterness and anger towards these men, with whom I held the highest regard in their abilities for storytelling.

If ever I am given the chance by destiny (and no, I do not use these terms in sarcasm) I would only wish ti express my disappointment towards you. Mr. Michael DiMartino, Mr. Bryan Konietzko, Mr. Aaron Ehasz.

I had hoped for everything, truly and wholeheartedly... but for whatever reason, you saw it was not to be granted. And for that, it pains me terribly.

Today I had a wonderful afternoon spending time with one of my best friends, ~tachyon42 and it really helped me to move away from the disappointment and sadness I felt last night. For our time together and for your encouragement of my writing, I love you. What's more, after reading *AVidZktjo's most recent post-Finale journal, I'm really remarkably better about my fandom and the views there of. And I think it'd be the healthiest thing for me at this point in my life to just walk away from Avatar for awhile. If I ever choose to rewatch it, then that'll be what it'll be. If not, I'm thinking that's fine, too. Like she said,

"Honestly, the Finale hurt the worst last night, but now, I’m content, happy, free, and at peace. Why? Because I know I have a greater purpose in life, and I have finally woken up to it once again. I needed this to shake me back into reality."

I'd be pleasently surprised if, when the movie's DVD comes out, it's announced something to the effect of, "with an all-new, mind-blowing alternate ending, and cast commentary!" but 'til then, I'm fine as I am.

I'm actually happy when I remember a time late this past year when I hadn't caught up on new Avatar episodes and honestly didn't care.
So for awhile, at least, I'm stepping back from my fandoms and focusing more on my future college days, my career goals, and most importantly, my family, friends, and myself.

The otehr day I went to a truly massive, as close to authentic Japanese store as it can get (imho) while still residing outside the country of the Rising Sun; called Mitsuwa.

There my mom and I met up with a dear friend, J (I'm hereby killin' any use of suffix for me friends as they are not Jp.) and two os his buddies. At Mitsuwa, I proceded to run around like a n00bish foreigner in all the nerdiness that that stereotype provides, gawking unabashedly at anything and everything I could see. The book section of the store was amazing, though it filled my heart w/ both joy and sadness at seeing so many manga I'd never seen or read before... all in their original Japanese. (reading the story, for me, is almost half the fun of getting the series in the first place so I didn't buy any). But we did make a stop at the nearby Jp. toys store whereat I picked up yet another anime cell strap! Also, in homage to my true nerddom, when we shopped in the bakery I chose several sweets from which I'de learned of thru animes, such as a chocolate cornet from Lucky Star and a mini chocolate Mellon pan/bread from Shakugan no Shana. J got milk flavored pocky, we also got leek and pork filled gyouza (pot stickers) and some sweetened rice crackers. An for buyin' 3 bags of the gyouza mom was given a free set of metal chop sticks. But by far the weirded thing I saw there was at that little, seemingly innocent bakery...

Bread cooked in the shape of shoes, booties (for newborns) and, indeed, a clock w/ an actual working motor. (the motor wasn't edible, sadly)

So... yeah. That's what my yesterday was like. I can't wait to go back to Mitsuwa, or to see J and his borderline-criminally hilarious buds again.

And noooooooOOOOOOOOWWWW! onto a question!! TO Y'ALL!!
As I hope at leats some of you've seen by now, a little bit ago I posed some WIPs of an oc of mine, Kaieira whose story is very dear to my heart, and as such, I'd like to pose a question to my fans, watchers, and anybody else who checks mah shtuff:

By the below summary, which one (for now) of the fellow WS chars. should I attempt to chibify into a ref. sheet?

Khuré - male, elf, copper-reddish hair (undecided as to the style), gold-amber eyes (like Kai's except no slit-pupils), lightly tanned skin, slightly Chinese-inspired clothes style. some designs inspired by and

Thonys - female (presumably), otherworldly creature, snow white hair (allllmost figured out the style), blood-red eyes w/ ruby red eyeshadow example, pale-as-death complexion , char. and clothes style greatly inspried by

Izaiah - female (presumably), shape shifter/changeling, ivory-blond or coffee hair (not sure which color I'll go w/) tied in a ponytail, dual-colored eyes (left=sapphire, right=very pale green) no idea 'bout her skin tone Middle Ages' (+ tastefully sensual) inspiration for the clothes

Only folks outta WS that I think I'd stand a CHANCE at drawin' atm since the others' are still WAAAAAAAY up in the air! Grrrrr... ka-foooomp! So please, please, pl33z3, PLEEEEAAAAAASSSSSSSE tell me which one you'd like me to attempt! If I get no reponses at all... I'll be kinda discouraged, an' prolly draw somethin' else to feel better.

Dammit. Lost my pen sometime this mornin' so now I can't take notes or use my red neck palm pilot.

EDIT: Got home, typed out shit I couldn't before. whee

G*ddammit I want to see Naruto: Shippuden, dubbed. Yes, I said dubbed. As in not-subbed, as in not illegal. (no offense to those who like subbed, i just hate ppl who blacklist the dub and flame anyone who dares speak of not hating it with a fiery passion)

Even though I'm in no position to preach to others, hardly, as I myself read fanscans of manga online and watch a number of fansubbed series, I've desperately making it a point to not watch or read things that fall i know'll be licensed or already is, the only exception I've made to this self-imposed rule is unless i have a solid resolve to buy the series regardless of already reading/seeing it online, such as Spiral or Vampire Knight

ONLY... 37 (give or take)... MORE... FILLERS... (then it at least focuses on Suna) (at least they air 2 eps. at a time) Poor CanadaLand; they'll have to suffer awhile longer than us.

Okay, cuzz I can, and cuzz I'm tryin' to wake mahself up so I can mow (whee) here's another written meme (gawddammit i wanna do a drawing one)


How many stupid things I've done.

Level 1
( ) Smoked A Cigarette
( ) Smoked A Cigar
( ) Kissed A Member Of The Same Sex
SO FAR: 0

Level 2
( ) Are / Been In Love
( ) Dumped someone
( ) Been Fired
(x) Been In A Fist Fight

SO FAR: 1

Level 3
( ) Had A Crush On An Older Person
( ) Skipped Class
( ) Slept With A Co-worker
(x) Seen Someone / Something Die

SO FAR: 2

Level 4
( ) Had / Have A Crush On One Of Your deviantart Friends
( ) Been To Paris
( ) Been To Spain
(x) Been On A Plane
( ) Thrown Up From Drinking

SO FAR: 3

Level 5
( ) Eaten Sushi
( ) Been Snowboarding
( ) Met Someone Through Internet
(x) Been in a Mosh Pit.. yea OUCH

SO FAR: 5 (woah never realized i was such a n00b)

Level 6
(x) Been In An Abusive Relationship
( ) Taken Pain Killers
( ) Liked/loved Someone Who You Can't Have
(x) Laid On Your Back And Watched Cloud Shapes Go By
(x) Made A Snow Angel


SO FAR: 8

Level 7
( ) Had A Tea Party
(x) Flown A Kite
(x) Built A Sand Castle
( ) Gone mudding
(x) Played Dress Up

SO FAR: 11

Level 8
(x) Jumped Into A Pile Of Leaves
(x) Gone Sledding
(x) Cheated While Playing A Game
(x) Been Lonely
(x) Fallen Asleep At Work / School

SO far: 16

*Lack of Level 9*

Level 10
(x) Watched The Sun Set
(x) Felt An Earthquake
( ) Killed A Snake

SO FAR: 18

Level 11
(x) Been Tickled
(x) Been Robbed / Vandalized
( ) Been cheated on
(x) Been Misunderstood

SO FAR: 21

Level 12
(x) Won A Contest
( ) Been Suspended From School
( ) Had Detention (homeschooled! bwahahaha whut?)
( ) Been In A Car / Motorcycle Accident

SO FAR: 22

Level 13
( ) Had / Have Braces
( ) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) Danced in the moonlight

SO FAR : 23

Level 14
(x) Hated The Way You Look
(x) Witnessed A Crime
( ) Pole Danced
(x) Questioned Your Heart
(x) Been obsessed with post-it-notes

SO FAR: 27

Level 15
(x) Squished Barefoot Through The Mud
(x) Been Lost
( ) Been To The Opposite Side Of The World
(x) Swam In The Ocean
(x) Felt Like You Were Dying

SO FAR: 31

Level 16
(x) Cried Yourself To Sleep
(x) Played Cops And Robbers
(x) Recently Colored With Crayons / Colored Pencils / Markers (recently as of the last 5 months)
( ) Sang Karaoke
( ) Paid For A Meal With Only Coins

SO FAR: 34

Level 17
(x) Done Something You Told Yourself You Wouldn't
( ) Made Prank Phone Calls
( ) Laughed Until Some Kind Of Beverage Came Out Of Your Nose
( ) Kissed In The Rain

SO FAR: 35

Level 18
(x) Written A Letter To Santa Claus
(x) Watched The Sun Set/ sun rise With Someone You Care/Cared About
(x) Blown Bubbles
(x) Made A Bonfire On The Beach Or Anywhere

SO FAR: 40

Level 19
( ) Crashed A Party
( ) Have Traveled More Than 5 Days With A Car Full Of People
(x) Gone Rollerskating / Blading
(x) Had A Wish Come True
( ) Been Humped By A Monkey

SO FAR: 42 The answer to all things and the universe.

Level 20
(x) Worn Pearls
( ) Jumped Off A Bridge
( ) Screamed "Penis" or "Vagina"
( ) Swam With Dolphins

SO FAR: 43

*Oh look, Level 21's missing*

Level 22
(x) Got Your Tongue Stuck To A Pole/Freezer/ice Cube
( ) Kicked A Fish
(x) Worn The Opposite Sex's Clothes (wearing that right now)
(x) Sat On A Roof Top (did that obsessively as a kid, parents didn't like it but me and my bro did it anyway)

SO FAR: 46

Level 23
(x) Screamed At The Top Of Your Lungs
(x) Done / Attempted A One-Handed Cartwheel
( ) Talked On The Phone For More Than 6 Hours
(x) Recently stayed Up for a while talking to someone you care about

SO FAR: 49

Level 24
(x) Picked And Ate An Apple Right Off The Tree
(x) Climbed A Tree
(x) Had/Been In A Tree House
(x) Been scared To Watch Scary Movies Alone

SO FAR: 53

Level 25
(x) Believed In Ghosts
( ) Have had More Then 30 Pairs Of Shoes
( ) Gone Streaking
( ) Visited Jail

SO FAR: 54

Level 26
( ) Played Chicken
( ) Been Pushed into a pool with all your clothes on (can't remember...)
( ) Been Told You're Hot By A Complete Stranger
(x) Broken A Bone
(x) Been Easily Amused

SO FAR: 56

Level 27
(x) Caught A Fish Then Ate It Later
( ) Made A Porn Video/got asked to make one
(x) Caught A Butterfly (had one as a pet when was little)
(x) Laughed So Hard You Cried
(x) Cried So Hard You Laughed

SO FAR: 60

Level 28
( ) Mooned/Flashed Someone
(x) Had Someone Moon/Flash You
(x) Cheated On A Test
(x) Forgotten Someone's Name
( ) French Braided Some ones Hair
( ) Gone Skinny Dipping
( ) Been Kicked Out Of Your House

SO FAR: 63

Level 29
(x) Rode A Roller Coaster (my addiction and my fear)
( ) Went Scuba-Diving/Snorkeling
(x) Had A Cavity
( ) Black-Mailed Someone
( ) Been Black Mailed

SO FAR: 65

*Level 30's gone too*

Level 31
( ) Been Used
(x) Fell Going Up The Stairs
(x) Licked A Cat
(x) Bitten Someone
(x) Licked Someone

SO FAR: 69

Level 32
( ) Been shot at/or at gunpoint
( ) Flattened someone's tires
( ) Rode in a car/truck until the gas light came on
( ) Got five dollars or less worth of gas

TOTAL: 69, still

Repost this with the title:
"I've Done ___ of the 120 stupidest things"